'Cause We're Living In A World Of Fools, Breaking Us Down When They All Should Let Us Be, We Belong To You and Me
If you do not know this is the first year I'm celebrating New Year's without having a someone special in my life. True, this is not my first year spent without a girlfriend or some other significant (or insignificant) other in my life, but it is the first that I haven't had at least had a young woman in my life who I used to date or who I used to be good friends with. I don't think it's hit me perfectly square in the jaw yet, but I expect the realization to wash over me like one of those tsunamis that have been making the news these days. I don't think I was meant to not have someone in my life of the opposing persuasion. I don't think I was built for it. My specifications for survival are not up to code for such a situation.
I think the trouble with me is I'm looking for one of those indie, quirky young women you see in arthouse films. For instance, I'm totally in love with Sam from Garden State. She'd be the perfect woman for me. She's this flawed, but still decent and intelligent creature that holds so much affection in her heart it's simply stunning. Yet she doesn't come across as this saccharine or mushy emotional con artist that they could have made her character into. She comes across as instantly personable, which I ascribe to both the actress breathing life into her and the writer who gave her birth.
why indie films should be banned
This leads me to the problem with films like Garden State or Before Sunrise, which are otherwise some of my most cherished films. They always have these insanely humastic and lovable women being found in these "meet cute" situations. Andrew finds Sam in a waiting room and Jessie finds Celine on a train. Those two places are just too commonplace and too accessible to not build up the hopes of commonplace and accessible guys like me. I keep expecting to walk into the DMV or the shoe store and meeting the woman of my dreams. I would almost rather see movies where the characters meet along the French Riveria or on some private jet than see them meet in such suburban settings. My poor heart can't take being invisibly rejected by the dream girl that never shows up at my local McDonald's or Border's.
Nor do the women I do find act like the women in these indie films. The women I've always dated have never argued against the world to keep the relationship going. Nope, they pretty much just argue with me. I don't have the great star-struck quality romances like Sam and Large where circumstances threaten to keep them apart. I don't have the emotional infancy of my own foibles to outgrow like Rob Gordon in High Fidelity . Nope, my problems with the girlfriends I've gone out with have always been the mundane indecencies like sex and bathroom quirks. In fact, most of the great conflicts that would be filmworthy have resulted from the struggles with girls I've wanted to date but couldn't. Damn it all, I want a girlfriend who wants to be with me so bad that heated turmoil arises of it. I want to feel like it's us against the world, the feeling that we belong to each other and nothing else matters.
Like I said, indie films have had a bad effect on my perception of dating reality.