And As Time Goes By We Will Become Grown Up And Wise, I Hope We'll Be Just As Tight, And It Was Supposed To Be, Then We're Going To Be

Look what I found on my parents' computer. Talk about a blast from the past. This is more like a skeleton in our collective closets. Now, for the whole world to witness, the earth-shattering moment when Patrick met Breanne.

(Sorry, Patsy, it had to be done. LOL)

Brillon - So Georgia, huh?

Breasier - Yup, that’s where I be. Who’s this?

Brillon - This is Patrick. And you?

Breasier - This be Breanne.

Brillon - Nice to meet you, Breanne.

Breasier - It’s nice to be met. And what brings you my way tonight, sugar?

Brillon - A bunch of keys and this mouse.

Breasier - I hope the mouse is dead. I’d hate to think you’re using a live mouse for these introductions.

Brillon - Mouse, dead. However, there’s a certain penguin that’s still gasping its last breaths.

Breasier - That’s terrible, Patrick. You should set it free.

Brillon - Would it help if I told you that it died for a worthy cause?

Breasier - That cause being?

Brillon - Dinner.

Breasier - LOL. Have you been informed that you’re a dork, Mr. Patrick?

Brillon - And is my dorkiness a good thing or a bad thing, Miss Breanne?

Breasier - That, dear sir, is an answer to be decided upon at a later date.

Brillon - So this is a date then?

Breasier - Yeah, you lucky fella, you. I’m one beautiful babe.

Brillon - A regular babe and a half, I’d imagine.

Breasier - You know it, sugar.

Brillon - So tell me about yourself, Breanne.

Breasier - Just you?

Brillon - So tell the whole world about yourself, Breanne.

Breasier - My name is Breanne. I live in Georgia. The rest is utter folly.

Brillon - I’m into folly. Tell me about folly.

Breasier - I don’t believe you’re really into folly. I don’t believe you’re a true folly fan, Patrick.

Brillon - By golly, I’m into folly!

Breasier - LOL. So, by golly, what kind of folly do you want to know?

Brillon - The usual. Do you have pretty hair, good teeth… nice rack?

Breasier - Yes, yes, no. By the by, I’m officially appalled.

Brillon - Hey, I could have asked for measurements.

Breasier - Of my room?

Brillon - Yeah, I have a fetish for girls’ room measurements. It drives me batty.

Breasier - Sorry to disappoint. So what about you, Mr. Patrick? What are some of your folly?

Brillon - Very pretty hair, so-so teeth, and an awesome rack.

Breasier - Any photographic evidence?

Brillon - My spread in Plaything should be hitting the stores any month now.

Breasier - Good, I have a subscription to that.

Brillon - LOL. For the articles, right?

Breasier - Nah, I’m into “grannies who are trannies”, darling.

Brillon - Is that a fact?

Breasier - Ever since miss March 1991. It was the issue with the “Hermies From Missouri”.

Brillon - Must have missed that issue.

Breasier - Your loss. Hell’s bells, they were breathtaking.

Brillon - As hot as you?

Breasier - I’m beautiful. But they were gorgeous.

Brillon - You look pretty smart for your age.

Breasier - Looks can be deceiving, especially over the computer.

Brillon - You still look pretty smart.

Breasier - Thank you, kind sir. You don’t “look” too dumb yourself.

Brillon - Thank you, dear madam.

Breasier - Calling me madam makes me sound like a harlot.

Brillon - Harlots are people too.

Breasier - This is true, sugar. This is true.

Brillon - You know who are people too?

Breasier - Eskimos?

Brillon - Them too, but I was going to say Georgians are people too. I think it’s high time people remembered that.

Breasier - Stop the Georgian oppression!

Brillon - We gave you the next Olympics. Quit your whining.

Breasier - That’s small potatoes.

Brillon - Is that what you crazy kids are calling your pair these days?

Breasier - No, that would be more like tater tots.

Brillon - Is that a fact?

Breasier - I’ll never tell. My lips are sealed.

Brillon - With Chapstick?

Breasier - Currently with barbecue sauce. I just finished lunch with my parents.

Brillon - Without inviting me? I’m hurt.

Breasier - Sorry. I forgot it’s “Invite Over a Random Stranger” Day.

Brillon - You know my name. I’m no stranger.

Breasier - You’re definitely strange, Patrick.

Brillon - Strangest of the strange?

Breasier - Less than some. More than others.

Brillon - Again, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Breasier - Definitely climbing in the charts.

Brillon - There’s hope yet. So anything else you’d like to know?

Breasier - If you could be any Winnie the Pooh character, who would you be?

Brillon - Easy. Eeyore. The donkey is my Buddha. And you?

Breasier - Mole. I envy his whistling talents.

Brillon - Don’t you know how to whistle, Miss Breanne. You just pucker your lips and blow.

Breasier - You’ll have to show me that trick sometime.

Brillon - Sometime, sure. If there is a sometime later.

Breasier - Well, you know how to find me. I’m always here.

Brillon - Just stick my nose in the air and head towards the barbeque sauce?

Breasier - Something like that. More like head towards the chestnut brown hair, go past the oceanic eyes, and turn left at the dimples.

Brillon - Clues! I feel like Sherlock Holmes.

Breasier - I figured I’d throw the dog a bone.

Brillon - I suppose I should be grateful.

Breasier - A modicum of gratitude is expected. It’s not everyone I let “see” me.

Brillon - I feel special.

Breasier - That’s why you get to ride the “special” bus.

Brillon - I guess I’ll have to save you a seat next time. The question is would you sit by me?

Breasier - Anytime, Eeyore.

Brillon - Thanks, Mole.

Breasier - My mother’s calling me away right now.

Brillon - Out saving the world again, Breanne?

Breasier - More like a date with the dishwasher, followed by a reception with the laundry room.

Brillon - Don’t you have servants for that?

Breasier - Just the one. But it’s her day off.

Brillon - Poor baby.

Breasier - Tell me about it. Well, I’ve got to depart. Shall we make plans to talk again?

Brillon - I’m penciling you in as we speak.

Breasier - It’s a rendezvous then.

Brillon - Good-bye, Miss Breanne.

Breasier - Later, darling.


Breanne