How Did You Go So Far Without Your Heart, I Know It's Hard, But You Gotta Do Your Part, I'm Through With Short Cuts
There wasn't anything easy about the way Joshua and Brandy got along. That's what she tells me anyway. She tells me everyday while she was with him it seemed impossible that the two of them were meant for one another. She had long hours. He worked out of the condo they shared at odd hours, seemingly on a whim. She liked getting directly to the point. He preferred belaboring the point as to give the complete story. She nourished change. He was seemingly stuck in his ways. There were some days where she contemplate the chain of events that lead her to where she was. She would contemplate the possible reasons she might have ever been attracted to him in the first place.
I have no reason to doubt her. Brandy's always been a very forthright person. However, I have debated with her the idea that someone she claims to be her soul mate could have caused her even the occasional bout of agony. Chalk it up to the Romantic in me, but I've always held dear the notion that when two people are meant for each other that they rarely fight. Even if they do, it's the pitifully intangible subjects they squabble over. They fight about where to go to dinner or whether or not to vacation in Hawaii or Colorado. What they don't do is fight about the big stuff. They don't go into depth over differences in opinion and they do go into depth over whose fault something is. They just don't. In my ideal world, I would have people believe that the person I was destined for get along swimmingly without a hint of trouble. I'd like to believe in that world.
She thinks that's why I have so many missteps with the people I've gone out with. I try too hard to peg people into these holes I've created. Then, when they dare not to fit, I turn them loose. Coming from a doctor, the advice that there are some ailments that were never meant to be corrected seems incorrect somehow. After all, if a young woman's inability to calculate the tip bothers me, isn't it my duty to show her how it's done? Or if another young woman's predilection runs to getting me to become a fanatic of NASCAR do I not have the right to turn the tables and actually attempt to break her of her fanaticism? Isn't complete happiness the reward for being patient enough, working hard enough, to find the woman of your dreams?
Brandy says no.
Brandy says that there is no perfection that one can stumble upon. She says that the person you were meant to end up with is also the person you meant to drive you the craziest you've ever been sometimes. Simply because they don't agree with you or necessarily like you all the time doesn't mean they don't love you. It's when you can for the most part accept their idiosyncracies rather than change them that you know you've found someone worth hanging onto. As she likes to say, love never means having to say you're sorry, but it also means never having to say you'll try to be better.
She's the only person I've ever met who has been completely happy with the way her life has turned out. Me, if the person I thought I was supposed to spend the rest of my life died on me, I'd be devastated. She only thinks about now and then. To her the times they spent arguing or disagreeing are just as sweet as the times they spent in each other's arms. To her it wouldn't have seemed as special if their relationship had all been hearts and giggles, it wouldn't have seemed as substantial if the entire duration had consisted of nothing but fluff. She's glad to have the hills and valleys of their journey together. She says she'd much rather have that than a flat road the entire way. Sure, you might complain a bit about the ups and downs of an arduous journey, but you'll also remember it for being so difficult and for having gone through it. No one remembers a walk that's made easily. You might as well have walked down the block and back. She asks me to believe that adversity is what cements two people together. She asks me to believe that there are no short cuts, no easy fixes, or simple answers.
I loved Joshua, but we didn't always get along, she tells me. I still wouldn't change anything, though. He will always remain the love of my life and no one will ever compare to him.
And you know what? I finally believe her.