And I Love You, It Just Comes Natural, It's What I Was Born To Do, Don't Have To Think It Through, Baby, It's So Easy Lovin You, It Just Comes Natural

--"It Just Comes Natural", George Strait

My dearest Eeyore,

Happy Birthday!

What a lucky day it was for me in the summer of 1993 when I was surprised find an e-mailed response to my poem "We Lose A Friend". Now I'm not normally one to open strange letters from folks I don't know, but something about the way my day was working out prompted me to open yours. I'm grateful I did, though. It not only lifted me up that day, but it also showed me that what my mother had been telling me all along is true; when we lose a friend, God always gives us more to take their place. It was the sweetest thing what you wrote and how you tried to console little 'ole me when you knew only the barest bones of what I was going through. You took pity on my poor heart. I've never forgotten that because I've always wondered what it was about that poem on that day to prompt you to take such an interest in me. What led you to me? What did I do to become so lucky?

And I've been grateful ever since as well. We've been through a lot of birthdays together--some spent more pleasantly with one another than other, to be sure--but one thing's remained constant. Yours is one of the first letters/e-mails/phone calls I want to take when my birthday comes around and yours is one of the first greetings I want to be when yours comes rolling around. I never look upon it as an obligation. I don't see it as a chore where I'm as frazzled as a duck in a kitchen trying to decide what to get you. It's a day that I mark with utter joy because I already know the perfect gift to get you, the perfect sentiment to express to you, the perfect way to show you that I'll always care, you know? It'd be a different story entirely if I, even for a moment, felt a wavering in the strength of the bond of our friendship. Perhaps then it'd feel like I was putting forth the effort out of obligation rather than free will, but that simply is not the case here. I still feel every bit as close to you as the day we met. Closer even, if that is even possible. I still feel every bit of the need to quantify exactly how much I hope your birthday turns out truly wonderfully for you. And, yes, I still feel every bit that I want to be happier for you on your birthday than you are for it. That's one of my job descriptions. That's what I do. I want to be that cute cheerleader in your corner, who's perkiness might become distracting after awhile, but is kind of comforting in its ferocity... like a tiger. haha

Even though I can't celebrate your special day with you (through no fault of my own, ahem), I can tell you that I'll be celebrating it over here in my corner of the world in small, but important ways. You can expect calls from both my parents, from Fanny and Katie, and from everyone else who knows you that I can remind to do so. Today you're going to be busier answering your phone than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Hell's bells! That ain't even half of the plans I've got up my sleeve. You still have my present to receive later this week. However, I still have a whole host of little reminders of your birthday's importance to my social calendar to spring upon you.

But for now, since I do have so much more I want to tell you when we talk later on, here's a small sampling of the direction today will be taking for you.

Patrick, I adore you! You are the most wonderful man. You have always made me important and that I had something important to share. You have always made me feel loved and worthy of love. And I'll never forgive you for that. It's a hard burden to shoulder, trying to live up to that honor, sugar. Until I met you I feel like I missed so much in my life because I never had that connection. I once thought Torry was that companion I was waiting for. But it was you, it was always going to be you, Patrick. You are that friend, that companion that I have wanted for so long. You are that person that, even though we hardly see each other, I still want to share life's adventures with while they're happening to me. You are always my first call. You've always been the friend I can share my innermost secrets with. You've always been that supportive and trusting friend I can turn to when I'm feeling hurt. It's no secret I've always striven to be just as supporting and trusting towards you--to the best of my abilities at any rate.

I will always be here to carry the boulders of burden if you ever need it. I will always be here to encourage you, prod and poke you if need be, and to treat your every accomplishment as a hoot-and-a-half even when everyone else marginalizes them. I will always be here to laugh with you, cry with you, fight with you, and make up with you. That's what good friends do. I love to talk to you on the phone when you're having a good day and I love to talk to you when you're having a bad day. I just love to share the intimacy of talking from the heart as we are apt to do.

When you met little 'ole me I felt like I had so much to share with someone but it was always dammed up like some mighty river behind a rock wall. Before you no one was interested in seeing what was on the other side of the wall, the richness of spirit I had to offer. Well, you not only broke down the wall, but you made sure that another one would never be built to take its place. You always care what I have to say even when what I have to say isn't always so Christian towards you. You understand I can only be me, I can only be Breanne--no more, no less--and you don't make me apologize for it. Even when we're stubborn and are tearing each other to pieces like wild jackals, you always make it clear that no matter what I do or say I'm surrounded by a love that emanates directly from your heart like the rays of the sun. That, more than anything else I know about you, is the one fact I always take with me when I think about what I like about you. You inspire me. You embrace me. You welcome me.

You see me with the eyes of someone who is my equal and that's an experience that doesn't come along all that often.

So, on this your 34th birthday, I only want to say that your the friend I long to love and cherish with a rare form of love until there are no more days to hold it in. You, sugar, are the one friend who does friendships best.

Again, happy birthday, Patrick!

Breanne