Everyone Showed You Where To Turn, Told You When To Runaway, Nobody Told You Where To Hide, Nobody Told You What To Say

--"Blurry", Puddle of Mudd

Horse

I have never ridden the horse
much like I have never drunk from
the dirty glass. Such bravery
I have never possessed in its entirety.
I have heard you can speak to him
in whispers; becalm him by
conversing in his tongue.
It's sensible since I am insisting
he bear my weight without sass
or inquiries. But it isn't presumption
that prevents my mounting his
dappled back immediately.
I believe I was given dominion over
the beasts of the earth and sky and waves.
It's the simple fear that the horse,
like the rider, doesn't know where
it belongs and the simple fear
that I could be carried away by him
indefinitely.

dw

----

I prefer plans. I prefer planning. When you leave too much to chance, then the chances can you spin you wily-nilly wherever they want. They do in my case, I can tell you that much. If I had my way I would schedule out my next ten years, day by day, rather than leave the majority of my time to something I can see. It's the same way with my obsessions. I'm not a huge proponent of fighting against an enemy I can't see. Dirt, destiny--they're expressions of the same enemy. The unknown. I'm not looking forward to the big nothing. People always tell me that the outcome isn't set in stone, that the future might be bright if I just roll the dice. But brightness isn't necessarily a good thing. Brightness can blind you. Brightness can kill you given the chance. Gosh. I'd much prefer some light to see my way by. I'd rather be able to walk along at my own pace than feel like I have to rush headlong into the breach. That's why I don't see myself pushing myself to the edges just because I can. I'm not courageous for courage's sake. Push me and I'll fight back. Chase me and I'll run. But there's no need to test my capabilities when my capabilities aren't being tested. I firmly believe. Accept what you have. Accept where you're going. The only time you should deviate is if it's unhealthy or unlikely you can be happy in your present position or at your current pace. There's nothing we can't survive. There's nowhere we can't thrive. But if you give up too quickly, if you turn your focus too swiftly to that of hoping and praying, there's no way of knowing how much your self-will can overcome. That's what I say, focus on the present and don't hitch your horse to a better future. Fight for your better present. Leaving the hoping to those truly without hope.

dw